Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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