Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you would pick up someone in the library
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
