just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
