I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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