Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
