I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They took my balls.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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