I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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