i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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