My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
