You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
