OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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