as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
