She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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