dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
