drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize