so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
