In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
