can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
