That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize