were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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