I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
