Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
