I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
