he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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