I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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