goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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