Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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