i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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