Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
