Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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