I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
