Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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