I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
this will be a night to untag.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize