i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
