Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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