Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
that is very illegal...i love you.
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