why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
