But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
