Where did you get a picture of my penis
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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