tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
