You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
