Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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