Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
