at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
