Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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