its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
