the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
