Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
