you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
