Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
