what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
