never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
