Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
