the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
