How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
