The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
