shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
